


Ye Olde Gay Squade

by orphan_account



Category: The Yogscast
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Gen, Multi, Other, Teencast, rainbow alliance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-21
Updated: 2014-10-22
Packaged: 2018-02-14 04:10:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2177382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the summer before their final year of high school, they had together made the resolution to petition the school for a rainbow alliance. Something, they agreed, to make the lives of the future kids like them a little easier. Despite having full confidence in their plan, some part of Xephos’s mind had never registered it would actually happen.<br/>And yet here he was, he reflected, leaning awkwardly against the blackboard, staring at these people who he only knew by name, face, or reputation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. YOGSclub

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic, i hope it goes over well!! can also be read on tumblr at http://sporecarrier.tumblr.com/post/95392460374

Xephos looked nervously around the room, his eyes flitting from the faces of his schoolmates, to the clock, and back to the dozen or so upturned eyes pointing at him. The facial expressions of those in the crowd ranged from nervous to disinterested to entitled, and some part of him wondered if this decision would be the worst he had ever made.

Silently fiddling with the frayed hem of his monday sweater, he locked eyes with the person sitting beside him. Impressively bearded for only 17 and looking comfortable in hir slick non-motorised wheelchair was his best friend, Honeydew. In the summer before their final year of high school, they had together made the resolution to petition the school for a rainbow alliance. Something, they agreed, to make the lives of the future kids like them a little easier. Despite having full confidence in their plan, some part of Xephos’s mind had never registered it would actually happen.

And yet here he was, he reflected, leaning awkwardly against the blackboard, staring at these people who he only knew by name, face, or reputation.

“Well, uh, hello friends,” he said, his voice trembling. “Welcome to the… club,” he let out, barely more than a squeak. The room was silent, and for a moment he felt the urge to run all twelve blocks home immediately. He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could begin, Honeydew’s voice boomed out from beside him.

“We would really like to thank you all for coming to this meeting, and we would also like to thank Mr. Karim for hosting us in his room.” The supervising teacher looked up from behind his desk and smiled for the polite round of applause. The Honeydew Xephos knew would be hard-pressed to speak so maturely, but fourteen months of running the school radio station had taught hir that the sooner you finish the formalities, the sooner the fun can start. His best friend’s confidence bolstered his own, and when he spoke again his voice had achieved a calmer tone.

“We’d like to wait longer for any members who may be running late, but the thing is that lunch hour simply isn’t that long and we have a lot we’d like to do today. We’re going to start out with the name game- we’ll go around the room and say our name and pronouns, as well as answer a question…” he faltered. “Does anyone have any ideas for something we could ask?”

An anemic looking year 13 student immediately raised a dirty hand from the back row. Xephos nodded permission and the stubbly face cracked into a grin. “How about,” the voice rang out, rough and alien compared to those around it. “What would you do if you woke up and your hands were bear claws?”

Xephos let out an astounded laugh. A few giggles bounced through the room. “Like the cookies in the wrappers?” Honeydew asked, a wide smile crinkling hir eyes.

“No, no, no, I mean like the real deal, like some real first-grade bear claws, right on there on the end of your arms,” they said, again flashing some crooked teeth in an even more crooked smile.

“Wait, so do you still have your hands and the claws, or…” Honeydew began, but Xephos cut hir off before the conversation could devolve any further.

“Alright, that sounds good. I’ll start. My name is Xephos, I use he/him pronouns, and,” He looked confusedly at the one who had asked the question for guidance, “Well, you’d have to call 999, wouldn’t you? I mean, your hands are claws, not fingers, so pressing the buttons would be kind of hard but I would, well, probably do my best to go get that checked out anyway. Seems kind of important.”

At that, the members of the newly formed club broke into an earnest laugh, and Xephos’s smile turned from pleading to amused. They went around the room, each stating their identifiers and some very radically different solutions to the problem of waking up with bear hands. One of them, a fidgety 10th year by the name of Strife, already had thought out a much more efficient and well-thought out plan then the rest of them thought possible. There were eighteen people at the meeting in total, with eighteen different ideas of the pros and cons of the situation. However, some did not seem as invested as others- a lanky overall wearing brunette received a phone call during xir turn, and left with a confused “I’m supposed to be running DIY Club!”.

Xephos learned that the tough-looking kid who had suggested the strange question went by the name of Sips, and that their accent came from the capital of Canada. “Blah-towa”, they called it, and Xephos was too ashamed to admit he didn’t quite know what city they were referring to. A few other small mysteries were revealed too- a large pale redhead he frequently spoke with on the bus was named Zoey, however she was too anxious to reveal it herself and let her girlfriend Fiona speak for her. Xephos also finally got the opportunity to put faces to the “hat” reputation when three mischievous-looking 12th years arrived ten minutes late and introduced each other in such rapid succession you could have sworn they had practiced it. “You can just call us the hats, though, it’s easy to mix us up,” said Ross, who Xephos assumed was the ringleader of their crew. He was definitely joking, however- no matter how similar the hats’ brains seemed to be, they were radically different from each other in physical appearance.

After introductions, the group’s atmosphere had become much more amicable. Xephos felt silently relieved- apart from their identities, there was nothing that brought these people together. He had been worried that the bond of mutual queerness wouldn’t be a strong enough catalyst for friendship, but by his count, relationships seemed to be blooming.  

The speech on boundaries, triggers, privilege, and how generally not to be an asshole took a lot longer than Xephos expected. Honeydew, who was not built for patience, did not add much to the presentation apart from the occasional slightly rude dig at the more ignorant questions. Eventually, Mr. Karim stopped them both.

“You boys,” Honeydew winced and Mr. Karim started again awkwardly. “You uh, kids, I know you’re really getting into it and all, but the bell rings in a few minutes and I need to set up class.”

“Of course, Mr. Karim,” Xephos said.

“Thank you,” a tall, heavyset neutrois named Lalna said, brushing their bleached blonde dreads off of the dark skin of their exposed shoulders.

“Yes, thank you, right,” Xeph said, and the crowd echoed his sentiment. “And thank you all for coming this week.”

“When is our next meeting?” Rythian, a formal and solitary boy Xeph had known since primary school, enunciated through a heavy scarf wrapped around his mouth. Xephos looked to Honeydew, who was in turn looking at hir friend for the answers.

“That’s a good question,” Honeydew said, grinning. Xephos sputtered.

“Well, the thing is, we weren’t entirely sure things would kick off so, we didn’t really plan that far ahead, but if Mr. Karim will have us back next week, that would, well probably at least, I mean it would suit our purposes just fine.” Seemingly entranced by whatever was in his newspaper, Mr. Karim nodded and gave a dismissive wave.

Nano, her head on her girlfriend Lomadia’s shoulder, began speaking at the exact same moment Xephos did, leaving them awkward and fumbling.

“You first,” Xeph said after a moment of apologies.

“Do we have a name for this guild?” She asked, chewing on the skin surrounding her nails.

“Guild?” came the voice of Parv, his small stature obscured by the backpack laid upright on his desk. “What is this, the medieval ages?” The room seemed to tense a little, worried that perhaps things were getting a little too familiar too quickly, but the feeling dissolved with a chuckle from Nano.

“Yeah, didn’t you mean to come to the Ye Olde Groupe Meetinge?” she said.

“I was under the impression I was joining the Ye Olde Gay Squade,” Turps, the student body president, replied.

“I’m definitely in for that,” Parv replied.

“Me too,” Lomadia laughed, dislodging Nano from her body and slamming a perfect dunk of a juice bottle into the garbage. A few more sounds of agreement came from those seated at desks.

“Wait, so, we’re not actually going to call ourselves that, are we?” Asked Xephos, unable to tell if his new acquaintances were joking or not. His question was met with a chorus of shrugs and nods. “No… objections?” he asked after a moment.

“Are you sure you don’t object, mate?” Honeydew teased, poking hir best friend in between the ribs.

“Well, no, but the thing is that’s a little bit of a mouthful, and maybe we could shorten it a little bit? Maybe like, Gay Squade? Or, like Y.O.G.S?”

Honeydew snorted. “Yogs?” sie said, the word foreign to hir tongue.

“Well, that’s not what I said, but yes, that works, I like that. How about the Yogsclub?” he asked nervously, uncomfortable with the lack of preparation made for this decision. “Like the Ye Olde Gay Squade Club?”

There was a deathly moment where nobody seemed to want to make the first move when, ringing out over the silence, came the voice of Sips.

“Why the fuck not?” A few people inhaled sharply and looked to the supervising teacher.

Mr. Karim didn’t even look up from his newspaper.

“Alright, well then, thank you for coming, and the Yogsclub will meet here again, same time, same place, next week.” Xephos announced, voice confident.

“Goodb-y-e!” Honeydew exclaimed, and the group filed out of the room, chatting, asking each other questions, excited for next week’s meeting.

 

 


	2. Domino's 2 For 1 Special

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was the last period of the day, and Xephos’ mind was more concentrated on the specifics of quantitative analysis than the events of his club’s meeting.

It was the last period of the day, and Xephos’ mind was more concentrated on the specifics of quantitative analysis than the events of his club’s meeting. Flipping between glossary and assigned pages in his textbook, he absently wondered if chemistry had suddenly gotten harder, or if he had suddenly lost his knack. The label on the second half of his bench read “Duncan”, and he silently wished for the owner of that name to arrive sometime soon, hopefully with answers to his questions.

Absorbed in the feeling of almost understanding a concept, with soft hands over his eyes and feet planted firmly on the ground, he did not notice the sought-after arrival of his lab partner until he was buffeted by their hastily put on white jacket.

“Oops,” came a deep voice from his left. “Sorry about that. Oh,” the voice suddenly gained energy, “Hey Xephos!”

Xeph uncovered his eyes and looked at the smiling face towering over him. “Oh, hello Lalna,” he replied, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Sorry, let me just…” he began, swiping his belongings from Lalna’s side of the bench and onto his textbook. A small, globe-shaped stress ball fell out of the pile, bouncing past Lalna’s feet and hitting the desk behind them. “Oh, crap,” Xephos mumbled, clenching his notebook in his hands, unsure of what to do as he watched the sponge ball roll slowly away from him.

“Don’t worry about it,” Lalna said, either not noticing Xephos’ panicked stare, or pretending not to. They retrieved the ball quickly and placed it directly in Xephos’ palm. “Sorry I’m late, by the way. I had to clear up a timetable conflict,” they said, taking their eyes off of Xephos and extracting a green binder and a chewed-up pen from their messenger bag. “What are we doing?” Lalna asked, flipping to the binder’s fourth section and writing the date in the first page’s pristine corner.

“Well, we’re working on calculations for measuring insoluble precipitates formed by certain reactions, but the thing is that Ms. Koenig skipped out about six minutes ago, so I’d say that most of the class is working on social studies,” Xephos replied, gesturing to their chattering classmates.

“Oh, okay, cool,” said Lalna, the joke seemingly flying right over their head. “Mind if I look at what you’ve done so far?” they asked, and Xephos laughed.

“That’s assuming I’ve actually gotten anything done. Honestly the whole thing confuses me so much that I’ve just been working through it in my brain.”

“Oh, yeah, I get that. I love science but sometimes it’s like theres a... faulty connection somewhere, or something...” Lalna absentmindedly doodled an airplane below the date, failing to pick up their train of thought. After giving it eyes and chicken feet, they abruptly turned to Xephos, dropping their pen onto the paper. “You doing anything tonight?” they asked. Xephos, who had been staring intently at the progression of their drawing, dropped eye contact.

“Well, not really. Me and Honeydew were probably going to play something with Yohi, but I mean, we do that every night, so I don’t even know if you can count that as ‘plans’.”

Lalna’s face brightened. “Do you want to come over? I mean, it’s not much different of an idea from what you have planned, but I have an Xbox, and like, my brother is gone for the weekend, so he left me a ton of pizza money. You could bring Honeydew, too, we could all hang out!”

Xephos was stunned by Lalna’s positivity. He hadn’t met someone so friendly in all his years in secondary school. “It’s monday,” he said, eventually. Lalna’s smile did not falter.

“That means it’s the two-for-one special at Domino’s!” they said. Something about their easy confidence comforted Xephos, made him more sure of himself.

“Alright, sure,” he agreed on both of their parts. Honeydew would never miss an opportunity for free pizza. He wished he could retract his statement, however, when he remembered what he had forgotten. “What kind of house do you live in,” he asked abruptly. His serious tone of voice seemed to confuse Lalna.

“An apartment, like, two blocks from here? Why?” they replied, smile dwindling to a confused grin.

“What floor?” Xephos replied, staring at the glossy black of the goggles that hung around Lalna’s neck.

“Uh, fourth,” they said, growing uncomfortable.

“Are there elevators? A ramp out front?” Lalna’s face sparked with realization.

“Oh, shit, yeah! Sorry I didn’t even consider it…” they trailed off, embarrassed they had forgotten to consider Honeydew’s disability. “Yeah, yeah there’s definitely a ramp, and I’m pretty sure the elevators are working, but if they aren’t we can just go to Domino’s and hang out there. Is that cool?”

Xephos once again only realized he was holding his breath once he let it out. “Yeah, that’s totally fine. I have to go to guidance really quick after class, where should we meet up?”

“Does outside the Yogsclub room work for you?” Lalna asked, watching Ms. Koenig walk back into the room. Xephos replied in assent.

The rest of the class was spent in silence as they worked on basic problems under the supervision of a very angry chemistry teacher in a very stained blouse, only managing to get a word in to each other when she would leave the classroom to yell into the school phone about calcium stores and unlocked storerooms.

Xephos left with a quick “See you soon” when the bell rang, moving methodically to get past the crowd and duck into the guidance office without any holdups. His usual rush was intensified by the desire not to disappoint the only person who (seemingly) wanted to be his friend. He briefly spoke with his guidance counselor about the meeting’s success, and asked permission for the club to be updated to renewable status. It was quickly granted, and Xephos continued his sprint around the school, bumping into Rythian on his way out of the office with an awkward nod.

Honeydew was sitting in front of hir locker, twisting to stow hir books in the mesh pouch on the side of hir wheelchair.

“How was drama?” Xephos asked, reaching over hir to grab his own jacket from hir locker.

“Pretty bloody good, actually,” Honeydew replied, pivoting in the enclosed space to face the stream of people rushing down the hallway. “We’re doing a production of Newsies for our senior project. Actually, I don’t know why that’s good. I hate Newsies.” They both laughed, and Xephos slammed the locker door shut. It was technically Honeydew’s, however Xephos had failed to get to school from his suburban townhouse on Locker Day, and was left without one.

“We’re going to Lalna’s, cool?” he said, doing up the buttons on his fall jacket.

“Lalna?” Honeydew asked, rotating hirself away from Xephos. “Can you wheel me for a bit? I’ve gotta write something down.”

“Of course,” Xephos said, grabbing the two handles on the wheelchair and walking towards the club’s meeting room. “Lalna, you know, from the, uh, club, today?”

“Oh, Yogsclub Lalna?” Honeydew replied, emphasizing the strange name they chose for their club.

“How many other Lalnas do you know?” Xephos joked, and Honeydew chuckled in reply. “Uh, but, yeah, the muscular, polite one.”

“Yeah I know who you’re talking about, I was just teasing. And that is definitely most fine by me.” Xephos directed them both in and out of traffic, quickly reaching the wall Lalna’s body was propped up against.

“Oh, hey!” Lalna said, pocketing their cellphone quickly.

“You’re still wearing your labcoat,” Xephos said, gesturing to the general vicinity of their torso with his pointed chin. Lalna smiled a relaxed smile.

“Oh, shit, yeah.” they laughed, and took their phone out of its pocket, putting them both in their messenger bag. “I’ll just pretend I’m grabbing a new one again tomorrow. I like your coat, by the way. Very fancy,” they said, tugging on the collar of Xephos’ jacket before turning and walking towards the front doors. “Let’s get going.”

The afternoon sun was too bright for September, temporarily subduing Xephos’ vision. Honeydew and Lalna made idle chitchat during the short travel to Lalna’s apartment, Xephos contenting himself with focusing on avoiding pushing Honeydew through any potholes or puddles. Bristol weather seemed to amuse itself by making driving conditions as difficult as possible.

“So, what are we playing?” Honeydew asked as the trio entered Lalna’s home.

“I donno, I didn’t think about it,” Lalna replied, waving to a young woman talking on her phone as they passed what must have been her bedroom. “That’s my sister,” they explained briefly. “Uh, I have Left 4 Dead, one and two, Borderlands 2, a few COD games, Halo 2… I donno.” Lalna led them into their bedroom.

“I like Left 4 Dead,” Xephos supplied, following Lalna’s lead and settling in a beanbag, facing at the average sized tv against the room’s far wall. Honeydew hummed a noise of agreement and Lalna sprung up from their seat on the floor.

“Definitely!” they exclained, turning on the model E xbox on and clumsily sliding a nicked disk out of a plastic sleeve and putting it into the machine. “It’s only two player, though, so we’ll have to take turns.” They tossed two controllers to Honeydew and Xephos. “You play first, I’m happy to watch."

At every safehouse the pair reached, Xephos would turn to Lalna and offer them a turn in playing. Lalna, however, consistently declined the offer, stating that their banter was more fun to experience than the game itself. The bridge finale, an already difficult level amplified by hardcore mode, culminated in three tanks obliterating Honeydew’s character and Xephos running for the helicopter, insisting he could make it, only to be grabbed by a smoker at the last second, invalidating the whole campaign. Xephos sat with an ashamed grin and endured Honeydew’s tongue in cheek screams of “You bastard!” and “I should never have trusted you!”, leaving Lalna in an uncontrollable fit of laughter from on the bed.

Honeydew’s rant was interrupted by the arrival of the pizza at the building’s front entrance. Xephos, his legs cramped from sitting for so long, volunteered to retrieve it, taking the money out of Lalna’s rough hand. Only once he had gone did Lalna and Honeydew realize this was their first time being alone together.

“So,” Honeydew said after a second. “Got any… friends?” Lalna let out an astonished laugh.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” they replied, sitting up on the bad and cracking their elbow in the process.

“That’s a good question,” Honeydew said after a second, and laughed. “Honestly I’m still so strung up about that game. I can’t believe that bastard didn’t pick me up! After all we’d been through together too! I want a divorce.” Sie faked a sniff and wiped an imaginary tear.

“Speaking of which,” Lalna said after a moment, unsure of how to put it delicately. “What… are you? I mean, like, to eachother?”

“Oh,” Honeydew said, tapping the wheel to hir left. “Well, I guess you could say ‘just friends’ but it’s not really that. I guess it’s like we’re dating, but with no romance, or like, naughty bits involved. Like, friend dating. Best friends, I guess is kind of a word for it.”

“I get it,” Lalna lied, their stomach twisting in knots. They did not know what this meant in relations to the feelings they themself had been toying with for their new friends. “So you don’t… kiss, or anything?”

“God no,” Honeydew replied, laughing. The front door jingled open and they heard muted conversation between two similar tones. A second later, Xephos was in the room with two large boxes of pizza, struggling to speak through the paper bag he carried in his mouth.

“I gave half of the first one to your sister,” he said, after he put everything down. Lalna thanked him and the three fell into silence as they ate their greasy meals.

“Feel free to come over whenever you want, alright?” Lalna proclaimed an hour later. They stood in the building’s sparse lobby, Honeydew and Xephos having taken the darkening sky as a sign to return home. “Both of you, either of you, whatever. It was really fun.”

“Thank you, we definitely will,” Xephos said, struggling to put his worn sweater back on before exiting into the brisk evening.

“See you later!” Honeydew shouted, maybe a bit too loud for an indoor environment, as the two left. Lalna’s eyes did not leave them until they had rounded the corner of the block.

They returned to their room, deciding to ignore the mess of pizza crusts and empty cans until later, and opened up their skype client. Nano was online.

[14-09-02 8:25:40 PM] B): hey missy

[14-09-02 8:25:47 PM] Nano~~: Hey Lalna! How you doing?

[14-09-02 8:26:12 PM] B): i honestly cant tell lol

[14-09-02 8:26:43 PM] Nano~~: What’s up, then?

[14-09-02 8:27:59 PM] B): i think im in love

[14-09-02 8:28:01 PM] B): or lust/

[14-09-02 8:27:01 PM] B): *?

[14-09-02 8:27:03 PM] B): i cant tell

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave a comment! especially if you see a typo... can also be read on tumblr here! http://sporecarrier.tumblr.com/post/96420118414


	3. Week Two, Invitation 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second meeting came too quickly for Xephos' liking. Despite thinking about it for the entire week, it wasn't until midnight the night before that he found himself actually preparing anything, lying on his stomach on the air mattress in Honeydew's bedroom that had become his home. Every key he pressed on his laptop's keyboard made the mattress shake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also can be read on tumblr! http://sporecarrier.tumblr.com/post/100626214939

       The second meeting came too quickly for Xephos' liking. Despite thinking about it for the entire week, it wasn't until midnight the night before that he found himself actually preparing anything, lying on his stomach on the air mattress in Honeydew's bedroom that had become his home. Every key he pressed on his laptop's keyboard made the mattress shake.

       "And make the next slide all 'there are many gender identities!' and write a few, and you'll talk binary and I'll talk nonbinary," Honeydew dictated from hir bed,  hir head resting on hir arms on the lifting rails. "And put a clipart of a pig. Smiling."

       "Are you sure?" Xephos asked, grinning through his serious tone. "Maybe a... Bathroom sign with a cross through-"

       "No!" Honeydew exclaimed with mock rage. "A pig!"

       "Alright," Xephos replied, stopping to type out some words. "Ok, royalty free we have a pig smiling with a cow, and a pig smiling in an apron."

       "An apron?" Honeydew replied,  picking a pill from hir static-laden blanket. "That's a little dark." Sie yawned and turned hir head away from the side of the bed that Xephos slept below. "I'm tired."

       "There's a simple solution for that problem," Xeph replied, “sleeping is probably one of the most important innovations of the modern time.” He finally took his hands off his laptop, but only to take off his shirt. "Can you help me?" he asked, standing up and leaning backwards over the bed. Honeydew unclipped the two sports bras Xephos wore daily and yawned once more.

       "You sure you don't need me for finishing the presentation? I know I've basically been providing you know, all the important ideas,” Honeydew said, watching Xephos put his shirt back on and sit down.

       "I think I'll survive," Xephos replied, his grinning face lit by the blue glow of the laptop. "Goodnight, friend."

       "Gnight."

       Xephos finished the presentation in the back of Honeydew's large family van the next morning, terrified for his laptop with every bump. Without Honeydew's nonstop commentary, he found it difficult to stay awake, and had fallen asleep shortly after his friend. The ride was quiet with early morning fogginess, winding its way through the cramped city and into the school parking lot.

       Honeydew's mother pushed a dollar store branded plastic bag into Xephos' hands as he exited the van. "For the club," She explained, staring at him deeply as he avoided her gaze. Her eyes were tired, he knew that she must have gotten home from work after they had fallen asleep last night, and her uniform indicated she was about to leave for another shift.

       Xephos and Honeydew made their way to their lockers together in silence. It was too early in the morning for deep thought of any sort. Upon some inspection, the bag contained two packages of off brand orange cakes and a bag of Werther's Originals.  Xephos left it with Honeydew and promised to meet hir at the lockers at lunch.

       English always felt like a useless subject to Xephos. He always thought it could be better if divided into further categories- grammar, language history, media studies, etc. The vagueness of the course rubbed him the wrong way. Despite this, he excelled in it. When he had still lived with his mother, he would make sure to bring home any failed Maths tests on the same day as an English one, hoping his success in the latter would outweigh his failure in the former.

       Since the first meeting of the Yogs, he felt that he was seeing the other group members everywhere. He didn't know how he hadn't noticed the giggling figures of Nano and Lomadia in the back corner off the English classroom until then, as their constant note passing and whispering made them stand out in the quiet room. When the teacher allowed the class to disperse and discuss their shared reading book, Xephos worked up the courage to go speak with them.

       "So are you liking it?" he asked, sliding into a nearby seat.

       "Oh, Hello!" Nano replied, turning her head at an awkward angle to accommodate Lomadia braiding her short hair. “Sorry, what was that?”

       “Are you liking it, the book,” Xephos reiterated, holding up his copy of the tedious novel for emphasis.

       “What do you think, mate?” Nano said, holding still as Lomadia pinned her braid into place. Her girlfriend parroted her use of the word “mate” with an exaggerated accent, making them both laugh. “It’s awful.”

       “I just don’t know why we need to read things like this,” Lomadia said. Xephos noticed a bubble tea resting on the black cover of her copy, a ring of moisture soaking through the paper. “All these human instinct novels are bullshit- and everything they’re based on is the psychology of privileges asses with no respect for human life beyond the tips of their noses. I swear you leave me in a forest alone and I’ll make well for myself.”

       “I wouldn’t believe that,” Nano said to Xephos with a friendly smile that flashed with the metal of braces. “So you’re the one who thought of the Gay Stra- I mean the Yogs?”

       Xephos smiled. “I wouldn’t say that, I mean, I didn’t invent the concept. Plus, it was me and Honeydew together-”

       “Yeah, but you two brought it to the school, which is pretty cool. I didn’t even realize there were so many of us here!” Nano said excitedly, her voice rising in volume. “Like that big bruiser type, what was his name? Sips. With the bear hands, I had no idea! And the student body president, even-”

       “Shush you,” Lomadia commanded, flicking her in the cheek playfully. “Doesn’t leave the room, remember?”

       “Right. I admit, I was a little distracted during the meeting,” Nano replied, kissing her girlfriend on the cheek. Xephos looked away, unsure if he was still wanted in this conversation. Lomadia, however, brought the discussion back to the public sphere.

       “So there’s another meeting today, right?” she asked as Nano very casually stole a sip of her bubble tea.

       “Yeah, there is. You should try and get some of your other friends to come along, the more the merrier!” He paused. “I’m bringing snacks.”

       “Nilesy will definitely come in that circumstance,” Lomadia said, taking out her phone and composing a text. Nano and Xephos shifted their attention to the front of the room, where their teacher was instructing them to work together to complete a handout they had been assigned at the beginning of the unit. Nano’s eyes glazed over and she turned back to Lomadia.

       “Is he even awake?” She asked, taking another sip of Lomadia’s drink as she tapped a text message to the absent friend. “I mean, you think he would be here if he was.”

       “That,” Lomadia said, entering the speed dial menu and hitting the first number, “is an excellent point.” There was a moment of pause, and Xephos could faintly hear the tinny sound of a ringer through her phone. At the last possible moment, it was placed by the sleepy sounds of a mumbling Scottish voice. Lomadia allowed the voice to speak before replying. “Ok but you realize it’s second period, right?” she said after a moment. The next word that came through the speaker was loud enough for both Xephos and Nano to hear it.

       “Shit!” the voice exclaimed, and Lomadia put the phone down a second later.

       “He hung up on me!” She exclaimed with false outrage. “He doesn’t live far, though. He’ll at least be here in time for the meeting, probably.”

       “I can’t wait to meet him,” Xephos said.

       “No, you really can’t,” Nano mumbled, reading the texts that were frantically popping up on Lomadia’s lockscreen over her shoulder.

       Soon after, the teacher sent them back to their own seats and Xephos was left to fill in the worksheet on his own while he should have been taking notes. The lack of organization left him overwhelmed and upset, however he still felt that taking the time to talk to the cheerful couple had been in his best interest. Apart from Honeydew, the circle of friends that had “adopted” him in his first year had all graduated, moved away, or otherwise grown apart. Something about seeing Rythian again in a personal context, a remnant of that group, made Xephos feel like the Ye Olde Gay Squade was really going to go somewhere.

       When the meeting came, however, his confidence dwindled. The VGA cable he was trying to connect his laptop to the projector with had a bent pin and Lalna was nowhere to be seen. The absence of this new friend shouldn’t have been so upsetting, Xephos knew that, but for some reason it felt like a betrayal of some sort. After a few minutes of figuring out how to open the powerpoint on the school computer and awkwardly stalling, Honeydew and Xephos finally mutually decided that it was time for this weeks introductions.

       “So,” Honeydew said, clapping hir hands together violently. “Introductions! Name game question. Anyone got any suggestions?” Sips’ hand shot into the air.

       “No.” Xephos said and he lowered it slowly. The room broke into laughter, Sips included. Zoey raised her hand and Xephos pointed at her.

       “Ok, well, what if it was ‘what do you think is the absolute coolest?’,” she said excitedly. Her voice had a strange quality to it, like the air she was speaking with was thicker than usual. Xephos nodded and her face twisted into a “what, me?” expression.

       “Go ahead,” he said, taking his hands off of the sleeves of his sweater to gesture towards her.

       “I didn’t realize I would… Okay!” She said, and glanced at Fiona, who shot her an encouraging smile. “My name is… Zoey! And I use she pronouns.” She smiled like it was the proudest moment of her life. “And… I think the coolest thing is probably… mycology? Or volcanology? Or sociology? I didn’t really think this through. I like science.”

       Fiona introduced herself, stating that the coolest thing had to be film studies, and then Parvis, who showed his appreciation for genetics, and so on. There were so many names that Xephos felt obliged to learn- he wondered absently if Honeydew memorized one half and he remembered the other if they would be able to bluff it out. Strife, the boy who later politely asked for clarification on every slide involving trans identities, Sips, that sickly looking Canadian in the stiff leather coat, Zoey and Fiona, the lesbian couple who were even more inseparable than Nano and Lomadia, the other lesbian couple, Turps, the man everyone knew (and probably voted for in the student elections), Parvis, who looked like he hadn’t slept in weeks, and Nilesy, who bore a striking resemblance to a mouse in both demeanor and appearance.

       Taking a mental inventory of the group’s members highlighted who had not returned. The Hats were missing, but that was sort of expected, however  Rythian and Lalna both were as well.

       “But wait! There is more!” Honeydew exclaimed, halfway through the gender identity presentation. Hir voice was a robotic imitation of a sales pitch, ironically forced. Xephos switched the slide to a picture of a pig in an apron surrounded by word art gender identities. “The label of nonbinary can be further divided into practically infinite labels. Some common ones include agender, genderqueer, neutrois, demigirl or demiboy, bigender, genderfluid, whatever. There are also some genders which are culturally specific and should only be used by people from those cultures, like two-spirit, which is an Indigenous American identity, and so on.”

       The door opened suddenly, hitting the wall behind it with a loud thump. Lalna, Rythian, Ross, Trott, and Smiffy walked in in one large, unexpected group. They did not sit down together, however. Rythian, ruffled and looking a little like a wet cat in his sleeveless turtleneck and scarf, sat alone in the back, where instead a flushed and grinning Lalna sat in between Lomadia and Turps, and the Hats sat the only place in the room left that had three desks beside each other. They shared a mischievous glance before Trott spoke up gleefully.

       “Did you know that the lock doesn’t work on the gender-neutral washroom?” Rythian and Lalna blushed, and Smiffy mumbled something that Xephos couldn’t hear. Parvis clearly did, however, and stifled a dirty laugh. Honeydew and Xephos both looked to Mr. Karim’s desk in fear of reprimanding, only to find that he wasn’t there.

       “Did anyone see Mr. Karim leave, or was he just never… here?” Honeydew asked, wheeling to the door and looking into the hall. A few voices affirmed that they hadn’t seen him. Honeydew shrugged and started pointing at the projector screen, mouth open and ready to return to the presentation.

       “Sorry to interrupt,” came Strife’s heavy american accented voice, “But what’s the difference between all those words? I mean, if you’ve got a word for ‘not a boy and not a lady’, why not just stick with that one.”

       “I know this one,” Sips said jokingly, however Honeydew was more than happy to let them talk about it, since sie wasn’t so sure about the perfect answer hirself.

       “Well don’t let me stop you,” sie said, and Sips smiled their lopsided grin.

       “It’s like, you know, you’re not just a spice girl. When you look at the Spice Girls you think, yeah, those are all spice girls, but when you look at them individually you can see that despite all being spice girls, they are, in fact, very different. One of them is sporty, one of them is posh, and shit, one of them is even baby, I mean, how different can that get? But they’re all still Spice Girls.” His tone was comparable to a magician explaining a trick to a group of children.

       “My gender is scary spice,” Ross said, prompting laughter from the rest of the room. Nobody bothered to ask Strife if the explanation had cleared up his problem at all, something that Xephos noticed. He made a mental note to check in with him later.

       Honeydew and Xephos blasted through the rest of the presentation, talking through pronouns and some conjugations of common examples.

       "Thank for listening! We have a bit of time left in lunch so if you want you can just talk amongst yourselves," Xephos said with a glance at the clock. Honeydew wheeled hirself to the desk in front of them, taking hir lunch out of a reusable grocery bag on the table. Chatter began to develop in the room, soon swelling to a volume one would expect from such a group of unsupervised teens. Xephos was unsure whether to drop his professional pretense or to attempt to keep some feeling of legitimacy to his club. He stood stiffly in front of the room, watching Honeydew laugh easily with the Hats, Sips and Turps inching towards the conversation with his red-haired best friend. He envied how easily it came to Honeydew. He wouldnt say sie was any more charismatic than him, it just seemed that Honeydew wasn't plagued with the inability to understand others' reactions the way he was.

       "Hey," Lalna said from the first row of desks, reclined casually and looking at Xephos with an easygoing grin. The collar of their shirt had fallen back a little, revealing the corner of a red and blue mark on their neck. Xephos blushed and looked instead at his shoes.

       "What's up?" he asked, moving forwards and sitting in the desk beside Lalna's. "How was your weekend?"

       "Pretty good, actually! My sister kicked me out of the apartment so I stayed out all night. And day, I guess. I've got a horrible headache, though," Lalna said. The sentence seemed to remind them to sip from a crumpled plastic water bottle.

       Xephos found it hard to meet their gaze. More than usual, at least. He was never much of a party animal- before his mother kicked him out, the only interaction with alcohol he had was when he would come home and find her crying on the couch with a picture of his brother, drinking cider straight from the tetra pack. "Do you want an ibuprofen?" he asked after a second. Lalna waved their hand dismissively.

       "Oh it's fine, it will be gone when it's gone. Speaking of which, though, I hear that Ross' parents are out of town this weekend. I'll eat my hat if he's not throwing a party."

       "You called?" a voice asked from directly behind Xephos' ear. Ross leaned forward braced himself against the desk with one hairy arm, talking to the two from over Xephos' head.

       "I hear the Hornby House of Horrors will be open for spectators this weekend," Lalna said. Xephos chuckled at the phrase. Ross' reputation definitely preceded him.

       "I would have thought it was the House of Whores, if he lives there," came Smiff's voice, also somewhere from behind Xephos' head. He turned around just in time to see Ross plant his elbow firmly in the hijabi's ribs.

       "Eat shit," Ross said, and Smiff giggled, clutching his stomach. "Yeah, it will. Saturday.  Byob, I'm not letting people in until 11. That doesn't mean 10:45, that means 11, don't get there earlier unless you like jerking off on suburban porches"

       "And if I do?" Xephos asked with a smile, the demiboy’s presence amusing him thoroughly.

       "Then be my guest," Ross said with a shrug. "But Honeydew's getting there at 11 and sie says that you don't have a ride without hir." Xephos and Lalna laughed, and the two Hats wandered away to invite others.

       "Are you really going?" Lalna asked, eyeing Xephos with an amused look on their face.

       "You don't think I would?" he asked in reply.

       "I've never seen you at that kind of thing before, I didn't exactly expect you to start now," Lalna said.

       "Then why did you bring it up?" Xephos knew he made a good point. The bell rang and a dozen chairs scraped as their occupants stood up.

       "I was hoping you would surprise me. Wanna walk to science?" Lalna asked, offering their hand to help Xephos out of his seat.

       "Yeah, sure," he replied. They made conversation in class when the opportunity arose, but it wasn't until the last few minutes that Lalna mentioned it again.

       "So will I see you Saturday?" they asked, cleaning a pair of goggles on their lab coat.

       "Yeah, why not?" Xephos replied, his heart jumping at Lalna's smile.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry im so shit at descriptions that i just copy paste. seriously. i suck. anyway next chapter will be a shitty party trope chapter i hope youre excited.


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